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Dice Roll

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Dice Roll

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The battle cry of so many brave heroes who're ready to die for a cause. Or, like in our case, the panicked yells of a group of adventurers who aren't quite as sneaky as they thought they were coming up with a Plan B on the spot.

The Kingmakers are taking out the crooked leaders of Fort Drelev and freeing its people- but to do so, they need to take out the man behind it all, the Mad Baron Drelev!

Bent on taking out the Kingmakers and conquering the Duchy of Kilcela for himself, this menacing madman is all that stands between his people and liberation.

Now, friends and adventurers, say it with me- off with his head! Druids get carried. Dogs get snoozed.

Hunks get peeped on. We've all dealt with pests in the basement before. Your greasy son who just won't stop playing video games and get a job.

But Hags?! That's a different story altogether! The Kingmakers face off against a coven of Annis Hags and their wicked leader, Betty Rustfingers, in the cellar beneath the Drelev Keep.

But who else resides in this castle of creeps? Cruel, calculating summoners with a disdain for life in favour of his studies?

Or perhaps an old friend who just won't take a hint and get lost? One way or another, nothing's gonna stop these heroes- vive la revolution, it's time to put some nobles on ice!

Hands get chopped. Windows get jumped. Lightning gets arced. A leader's duty is to serve their people, but in their greed, so many kings believe that their people are there to serve them instead.

When that happens, it's time to revolt! The time to topple the Mad Baron of Fort Drelev is drawing near, and the Kingmakers must infiltrate his keep to depose him and the crooked nobility he lavishes with instead of saving his barony from the vicious barbarians that overrun it.

But, uh There's like, guards and stuff. We didn't exactly come with a plan, so I dunno, maybe we should climb the walls or something?

No, that's dumb. I'm out of ideas. I'll let our heroes figure their way past monstrous guardians, cunning traps and long-hidden secrets themselves!

Vive la revolution! Slimes get sliced. Bars get bent. Cackles get cackled. Being an adventurer is easy! When you have a problem, just swing your sword at it until it dies.

For example, say you're in a swampy cave, and a horrible tortoise creature rises from the depths and tries eat you. What do you do?

Slash it with your sword! Simple stuff! But what about more complex problems, like sneaking into a barbarian infested town where everyone is looking to kill you?

Swords won't fix that. Bad idea? Darn, whatever. Our heroes will probably think of a smarter idea. It's time for the Kingmakers to find out exactly what's going on with Fort Drelev, and try topple the crooked crown that lies atop it!

Breath Weapons get breathed. Disguises get put on. Dreams get dreamt. The best way to make friends with someone is to do something that they'll like.

Usually that means offering to listen to someone's interests, maybe buy them a nice cake or something- but in the case of the Cruel, Swamp-Dwelling Goggard worshipers of a demon goddess, it's not so easy!

Our heroes find themselves fighting off the cruel naga which had bewitched the priest-king of the Boggards in order to gain their favour and bring peace to the marshes- but honestly, can we just settle for knitting them a nice cardigan or something?

I'm tired of having to killing monsters for other people! Poems get recited. Rings get given. Baby Carriages get investigated. A mission of intrigue requires everything to go right.

It takes skills, guts, and stealth to get in and out without being spotted. Or, alternatively, you could be infiltrating the caves of some grossly incompetent Boggards who have no real idea what they're doing.

The Kingmakers wish for an audience with the Demon-worshipping Priest King Sopoko, and they don't want a fight- but unfortunately for them, the Boggards of the swamp village of M'Bottu certainly do, and their surprisingly vicious frog guide Garuum is aching for revenge.

What's up with these guys and revenge, anyway?! Vengeance this, vindication that- can't the Boggards just sit down and talk with one another? It's a marshy dungeon crawl adventure for our heroes as they navigate the tunnels of M'Bottu and try end the Boggard attacks on the merchants of Kilcela!

Frogs get pelted. Tamers get munched. Deals get made. Culture Shock! Whenever you visit a new place, you're bound to find a few customs you're unused to.

But what's with everyone here in the swamp trying to drown us to please their assorted gods? Our heroes venture deeper into the murky Hooktongue Sloughs to investigate a barony conquered by barbarians and a clan of frogfolk that have been attacking travelers on the roads to their kingdom.

But first, they must overcome some of the hazards of the marshes- such as a trio of hideous bog mummy clerics of the goddess of undeath!

Onwards and forwards, heroes, and guide this motley expedition of lizardmen, gnomish mapmakers, corvid treasurehunters and furious frogmen deeper into the wilds!

Gas pockets get popped. Balls get punched. Villages get sneaked through. You know how the traditional saying goes- when someone sends an invasion force to conquer a small town on the border of our kingdom, we need to find out who's behind it, why they did it and how to stop them from doing it again.

What, nobody says that? Well, they should! The Kingmakers are saddling up for an expedition into the Hooktongue Slough to investigate a mad baron, an undying barbarian and a clan of boggards so that they can defend the Duchy of Kilcela from further attack.

With escorts from the village of lizardfolk, quests from curious characters in the tavern, and a few familiar faces showing up again, this adventure deep into the swamps of the west is sure to prove an exciting one!

Gather your exploration gear, adventurers- we're about to show the world what we've got! Interrogations get conducted.

Drinks get drank. Fireballs go nuclear. The Duchy of Kilcela has entered a period of peace and prosperity over the last year; the nation has expanded, its leaders risen in fame for their legendary feats and you know what?

Tourism is doing pretty good too. But when a hearty meal in the idyllic town of Tatzylford is interrupted by a stranger baring a dire warning of impending doom, our heroes are faced with an unfortunate fact: when you go around stopping bad guys every day for a living, eventually, a few of them are going to want revenge!

It's a veritable siege today, fellas, as the Kingmakers face off against an invasion of foes from the woods, both new and old- and they're all that stands between the forces of destruction and the town they must rally and fight back with!

Barbarians, witches and giants, oh my! Grab your sword, study your spellbook- the Siege of Tatzylford begins today! Bad Guys get bisected.

Heads get exploded. It all ends here. After weeks of investigating horrors and heresy, the Kingmakers have finally found themselves face to face with the culprit of all the misfortunes which have plagued Varnhold and its people.

An ancient, beyond powerful foe has risen, and with occult power that dwarfs our heroes by leagues, and if they don't do something to stop it, Kilcela and the rest of the world could be next.

The undead menace of Vordakai, Cyclops Lich and King of a Crumbled Empire, demands their subjugation- but when our heroes have an old friend to avenge, surrender isn't an option.

It's do or die for Alden, Kaska and Ichor as they face off against a truly legendary foe they seemingly have no hope of beating- but surely, justice will find a way!

Now, once and for all, guys, let's show this zombie wizard it should have stayed dead! Friends get reunited.

Eyes go blind. Imagine your worst nightmare, and picture yourself facing it. Pretty bad, right? Now imagine that you not only have to take care of it yourself, but there's a spunky teen there, and you need to protect them too.

Now you can imagine the kind of stress the Kingmakers are under! After rescuing a prisoner of the undead cyclopses from their captor, our brave heroes must now make their way deeper into the Tomb of Vordakai and face whatever horrors lie within.

No sweat! But remember, dear traveler, that often times, the scariest things aren't the foes you face- but what you stand to lose.

And also, the foes you face, if they're like, really really scary. Like, dang, this is a spooky one. Pits get leaped. Frescoes get glanced at.

Hearts get broken. Standard adventure fodder. You go in, fight some skeletons, get the loot, leave and tell tale of your story. But this one feels Our heroes must delve into the tomb hidden in a tall rock formation hidden deep in the mountains on the trail of the populace of the entire vanished city of Varnhold.

Could this be where they went? What brought them here, to an isolated island deep in the treacherous cyclopse gravelands? A veritable tomb of horrors awaits these daring adventurers as they try solve the mystery of the true nature of Vordakai's Isle once and for all.

After that I miss the woods, these mountains suck! And I'm pretty sure I got a stone in my shoe! Secret doors get opened. Blood gets boiled.

Wheels get spun. They say that there's no place like home, and you know what? Whoever said that was right. After fighting horrific soul eating Daemons, alien bug-monsters and living shadows, the Kingmakers are getting mighty worn out by all this terror and torture.

Now as the snow of winter starts to come down and our heroes must trek into the forbidden canyons of the Valley of the Dead, they must face even more gruesome foes.

How long until we can go home again? Not until we solve the mystery that brought us here in the first place?! This sucks! I signed up to be part of a group of adventuring heroes, not a crime-solving gang of teens!

One way or another, though, our heroes must be brave- for now, they have to prepare themselves to set foot into a taboo valley, untouched by the locals for centuries Blessings get given.

Lairs get investigated. Cliffs get jumped. En-route to the dreaded Valley of the Dead in search of answers into their ongoing investigation of the lost colony, our brave heroes are scaling mountains and wandering through the wilds.

But after meeting a particularly unusual, plane-hopping ally in Zzamas the Phase Spider, an enormous arachnid with a human head and promises of treasure, they now find themselves face to face with an even more unusual foe- the gruesome Xill, alien monstrosities with jaws, claws and a real bad attitude!

It's time for a fight around a weak spot between worlds around the mythic Ghost Stone in a bid to win this creepy spider lady back her home and get on with the mystery of Varnhold!

Chests get opened. Birds get ridden. Doors get slammed. A lonely log cabin, isolated in the middle of a mountain range, not far from the site of a mass disappearance.

Anyone who's watched horror movies ever should know to be wary of some place like this. Thankfully, horror movies weren't around in Fantasy Times!

The Kingmakers have encountered an unusual new friend- because hey, we've already gone so far, why not add a feral child to the mix?

But as they take a second to hide away in this abandoned lodge, rather than answer questions, all of this brings up only more. An island of druids?

A dead poet? The hungry darkness? Put on your thinking caps and lock your doors- our heroes have quite the spooky night ahead of them! Floorboards get creaked.

Windows get scratched. Dubious deals get made. The Butler did it! Mystery solved! If only it was that easy. Our anxiety-ridden explorers search for answers in their ongoing investigation into the Varnhold Vanishing, armed with precious little knowledge, some shoddy testimony from unreliable faerie sources and an awful nightmare- not exactly the best clues in the world.

As such, our heroes are tracking down the most likely suspects- an evil cannibal cult of an old centaur god?!

There really is no such thing as an easy adventure these days, huh? Well, no matter. I guess it's time to go track down some horse people!

Fingers get bitten. Fires get watched. Rocks get spotted. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like Discord: discord.

They say not to judge a book by its cover, but maybe they should also say not to judge a gnome by its height! Our heroes have come across a camp of ghastly Spriggans- grey skinned, hairless gnomes with a tendency to make mountains out of molehills- and switch their sizes up to match!

Are these deceitful foes the ones who caused everyone in the city of Varnhold to vanish? If so, how! Where did they put them? But one question looms over the others- who is this Supreme Leader they're all terrified of?

Mystery is in the air, but before all else- we have some gnomes to gnash! Let's roll! Towers get fallen from. Escapes get blocked.

Nightmares get had. Knock knock! Anyone home? When a single house does this, it's a normal afternoon- the residents might be out having a picnic, going on a hike, practicing wizardry or something.

But when a whole city has been completely abandoned, with no sign of a struggle or even a hint of where they might have gone aside from a single ominous word carved into the the door of an inn, something's definitely up.

Our heroes have crossed into the nation of Varnhold to investigate why their neighbouring kingdom has gone radio silent, but the discovery that they're not just ignoring them, but are all gone is more than a little chilling.

Now they must put on their detective caps and investigate the empty barony, because all of this raises a single question- if they're not here, then where did the people of Varnhold go?

Jars get knocked over. Gods get discovered. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the hard questions like Winter comes to the Duchy of Kilcela, a rising nation starting to gain fame around the Stolen Lands for its victories against the beasts and bandits which once plagued its lands.

From the hilltop city of St. Gilmorg, to the farming town of Fangberry and even the village of Monsters, Sootscale Hill, our heroes have a fine kingdom at their hands.

But as the natural beauty of the cold months roll in, so too does the darkness of night- and when a harrowing message arrives informing the Duke, the High Priestess and the Sheriff that something mysterious is afoot, and they're being asked to investigate, a creeping dread comes over them all.

What's happened to the neighbouring nation of Varnhold? Why won't they send back any messengers sent to them? And most importantly, why has one of our heroes dear friends not returned from his quick trip to visit them?

Alden, Ichor and Kaska embark to a strange new land in search of answers Journeys get prepared. Eels get eaten. Dread begins to crawl. For months, the Barony of Kilcela, a newfound nation of heroes and adventurers alike, has been harassed by a shadow of itself- Kongerike, the Kingdom of Monsters.

Lead by Hargulka, the Troll King, Kongerike has sent wolves to hunt Kilcela's people, lizardfolk to kidnap its children and, most recently, attempted to invade and capture one of its towns.

Today, Kilcela fights back. Leading an army to go free the captured slaves taken by the trolls, Baron Ichor Eteoclese, High Priestess Kaska Tanavin and Sheriff Alden Felstad have one goal: end the cruel reign of Hargulka, once and for all!

But no matter how straightforward a plan this may seem, darkness lurks around the corner- what dangerous secrets does the King of Monsters hide?

And what powerful foes has he allied himself with? Crits get rolled. Monsters get slashed. Romances get sparked. My mother always told me to help older folks, that they'd lived long lives and deserved respect.

What does she expect me to do when the old man we just met in the woods is not only shrieking and cackling as he tries gut us with a sword, but also commanding his terrifying cryptid bull-dinosaur-lion monster thing to eat us alive?!

En-route to scout out the villainous Kingdom of Trolls deep within the Western Woods, our heroes are ambushed by a mad hermit and his monstrous companion.

Will they defeat this diabolical duo, or are they destined to fall here before they can save their kingdom from the vicious monsters of Kongerike and end up as dog chow?

Weapons get picked up. Trees get lifted. Final conflicts get prepared. A hero's job is to fight evil with your allies.

A group of mercenaries duel against a dragon to steal its hoard. Explorers fight off hungry undead as they explore uncharted crypts.

But when you're up against two dozen giant trolls with a hunger for destruction Our Kingmakers gather together to fight off the evil trolls of the wicked kingdom of Kongerike, who have invaded their land and captured the peaceful village of Fangberry!

Only through great bravery, cunning tactics, and a shitload of burning arrows have they any hope to liberate the quiet hamlet from certain doom at the hands of these monsters!

Alright, everyone? On my mark! Plans get hatched. Boulders get thrown. Spears get discovered. Do you ever see someone, and your heart just stops, and you know that this- this perfect being- this is what your whole life has been leading up to?

All the pain, the anxiety, the stress of existing on this mortal plane, it was all worth it to meet this person?

That's what it's like to look at a horse. Ecstatic over new inhabitants of the Barony of Kilcela and the treasures they bring with them, our adventurers are horse crazy- but not crazy crazy, you know?

Better save that kind of insane for the rumoured cult of the hag goddess which is growing in power day by day.

Someone should maybe do something about that, and those someones should probably be our brave Kingmakers- but like, give us a second, we're admiring the way the wind blows in their manes!

Bribes get taken. Tripwires get tripped. Terrible future conflicts get revealed. Sibling rivalries suck! But there really is a difference between your sister stealing your shirt and your brother rising from the dead to slay you for not burying you with his legendary sword.

What a jerk, right? Get over it! You don't even need the sword anymore! Why not allow some daring adventurers raid your tomb and keep it for themselves?

Our heroes are here for the Sword of the Cairn, and they're not going to take no for an answer. It's a fight to the undeath deep inside this ancient grave, and it's up to our party, our fighter's mom and a wolf to show this creep that his reign is long over.

Just make sure not to get in the way of this Barbarian King's undying rage! Hugs get given. Barrels get drank. Advice gets given. There are several truths in this world.

When something goes up, it must come down. Everything that has a beginning also has an end. When your mom says she wants to do something, you must do so.

Well, okay, the last one isn't necessarily universally applicable, but in the case of one of our dear heroes, it certainly is! Challenged with bringing the mother of our Half-Orc fighter out into the wilds to enter a tomb and steal an ancient, legendary sword from the clutches of an undead menace, our heroes must overcome treacherous landscapes, face powerful foes, and tease their companion about his baby pictures.

Milf rights! Mushrooms get picked. Traps get sprung. Howl-Of-The-North-Wind, a monstrous talking wolf, has come to the kingdom of Kilcela, and he's lured its leaders into a trap!

And if that weren't bad enough, he's apparently in kahoots with the evil Troll King from the South?

But fear not- once our heroes slay this fearsome worg and his cronies, surely everything will return to normal, right?

Maybe we can relax, rule the kingdom in peace, even pass a few laws. Maybe I could catch up with that book I've been meaning to read. And maybe that guy who's been criticizing the Kingmakers in front of growing crowds will finally shut up!

Perhaps all that's wishful thinking- but no worries! In the meantime, though- these three little piggies have a big bad wolf to kill!

Beasts get slain. Meetings get had. Investigations get made. Daring quests. Heroic journeys. Brave adventures. All of these are great and all, but Sometimes, you just need to relax!

Whether it's going out visiting fancy shops or going for a drink and meeting up with old friends, there's tonnes of ways to chill between adventures.

But as rumours swirl of dangerous beasts in the hinterlands of your nation, and certain unscrupulous individuals pin your adventures as the cause of these monstrosities Can't a Baron catch a break around here?

Rings get inspected. Footprints get tracked. For those in the adventuring business, there's two cardinal rules- don't split the party, and don't let your most powerful foes get away.

But you know, mistakes can get made! So what if you accidentally let both happen at once? Quite a lot, apparently. On a mission to save a child from a tribe of lizardfolk, our heroes split up to get the job done, only for one half to end up on his own guarded by ochre jellies and the other half confronting an old foe back at his own tricks and a monstrous lizard king the size of a house.

Oh, also, they need to protect this child too? Stakes are high, and tensions even higher- will the Kingmakers be able to save this kid and make it out of the Lair of the Iruxi Tribe in one piece?

Or are they fated to end up as crocodile meat? Drawings get made. Asses get slapped.

The city of St. Gilmorg is beset upon by fiendish nightmares that seem somehow all too real, and our heroes smell a rat.

Something must be behind these dreams Or, maybe a better question is how do we stop it? Oh, actually, it'd probably be an even better question to figure out how it's even able to do this in the first place There's just way too many questions!

All we know is that we have to do something Tuck yourself in, friends Druids get bit. Houses get burned.

Doors get knocked. Sometimes, there's no stranger sound than silence. When you're waiting for the inevitable- in this case, the appearance of a reality-shifting Bloom that threatens to batter down the walls between reality and the realm of the fey- silence like that can be horrible to live with!

Thankfully, though, we've found a stranger sound than silence. Tonnes of babies, crying in the woods. Yeah, you read that right.

Like, an army of screaming babies in the woods. What's going on there? Who knows! But it sounds like some reality-shifting nonsense to me.

Grab your spear and plug your ears- it's time for a Bloom-Slaying adventure! Books get given. Turnips get kicked. Vengeance gets had. Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was also a sword.

The Kingmakers have come home triumphant from the War of the River Kings, but they have no time to rest- they've been informed that the Wicked Fey Queen, Nyrissa, is moving to steal their kingdom from time itself!

Under the threat of the mysterious Season of Bloom and armed with a mythical weapon to guide them, our heroes must band together now more than ever in order to protect the Kingdom of Kilcela from not only bandits or beasts- but from otherworldly magic that threatens to rip reality to shreds!

Hold onto your butts- it's time to begin the end! Kisses get given. Bags get bought. Water gets inspected.

Progress Marches On! But each of our heroes has a stake in the game- and none of them are the kind to give up either.

It's the final showdown between the Kingdoms of Kilcela and Pitax- but who will come out on top? The Kingmakers, or King Irovetti? There's only one way to find out- let's have our decisive duel in the pit of the Clockwork Castle's ruins, and see once and for all, who deserves to rule, and who deserves to die!

Animals get banished. Arms get grown. Bad News gets delivered. Throw some coal on the fire! The Kingmakers find themselves reunited with some old friends, but the danger isn't over yet.

Before they can escape the Cruel Clockwork Castle and end the War of the River Kings once and for all, they must put out the flames in the heart of the beast and grind the steam-powered engines to a halt- but they will not find it unguarded!

All of this is pretty cool, but Is breathing in all this coal dust healthy for you? I mean, I know the guy who runs this place is evil and all, but like, surely there's some health violations going on down here.

Are we sure we want to have our climactic duel to shut down the engines HERE of all places? Souls get banished. Proposals get made. Arrows get fired.

Welcome to the world of tomorrow! Our daring heroes find themselves in the Clockwork Castle in search of friends, foes and answers.

Where did you put our companions? How do we shut off this machine? And what's the deal with all these doors?! Seriously, there's got to be a couple of hundred of them!

But before we can find any concrete ends to these mysteries, they've a few obstacles to overcome- namely, a squad of big, mean robots and an even bigger, meaner Oni General.

Hold onto your butts- with the amount of blood we're about to spill, we're going to make Sekiro look like a walk in the park!

Performances get given. Constructs get piloted. Neighs get whinnied. To battle! The Army of Kilcela has garnered some powerful allies throughout the Glennebon Uplands, from old foes to towering giants.

But now that they've garnered enough strength, they're finally ready to take on the might of the Clockwork Regiment of Pitax.

As our heroes get ready to lead their forces against their mechanical opponents, they can look forward to a fair fight. No tricks, no underhand tactics- just something nice and straightforward, right?

Of course, it's never that easy. What's up with the alarm they're ringing out? Or the rumbles from behind the city walls?

Or the black plumes of smoke coming from the dozen chimneys from Castle Pitax? No time to think- let's end the War of the River Kings by tonight!

Trolls get scared. Ladders get launched. Reunions get had. Every adventure needs them. They're a critical part to the life of a hero, be they a mission from a high priest to seek out an ancient relic, a treaty to seek out a bandit king, or A cry for help to slay an evil monster from a particularly depressed mammoth?

On their journey to seek out allies who can help them go to battle against the Clockwork Regiment, the Kingmakers traverse the Glennabon Uplands on a particularly unusual mission.

Can our brave heroes triumph in the face of legendary opponents? Or is their legend a tragedy, not an epic? For my sake, I'm hoping it's the first- I don't wanna be out of a job writing these blurbs!

Lore gets shared. Curses get inflicted. Alliances get forged. Into the belly of the beast we go! The Kingmakers continue to wage war against the Clockwork Kingdom of Pitax, and in order to overwhelm their mechanical foes and their twisted king, they must undermine his allies.

And to do that, they've travelled deep into the cursed woods of the Thousandvoices Forest to find themselves in the Hungerdark Caverns, facing off against Minognos-Ushad, the Wyvern Queen.

Only one problem She's like, 30 feet tall, and her fangs are as long as my arm Well, no point crying about it now!

Hold on tight- things are about to get rocky! Heroes get gulped. Trees get chopped. Battles get witnessed.

Oh, your magic world might be full of ancient prophecies and legends of days to come, but that's not how we do it here on Golarion!

Our heroes find themselves with an audience with an ally who's quite literally the stuff of legends- and find out they've got some legendary duties themselves!

And what's a good legend to do? Why, go kill some dragons, of course! The hunt for Minognos-Ushad, the Mother of Wyverns, continues- but never forget, would-be dragonslayers.

Not only can you hunt dragons Water gets gargled. Skeletons get squinted at. Coup-de-graces get delivered. To arms! The Kingmakers have won their first major victory in the War of the River Kings, having saved the little town of Littletown from the maws of the wyverns.

The battle may be won, but the war is far from over, and now they must hunt down their sinister spawnmother and prevent it from happening again! But are things as simple as they seem?

Will both sides of the war play fair, and allow the victor to come down to whoever fights truest? Or will Pitax cheat at this too, just like they do with everything?

Only time will tell, soldiers- for now, though, hold your shield and charge to the defense of the downtrodden- we've a war to fight in, boys!

Bombs get lit. War Crimes get discussed. Clocks get smashed. Of course, you realize, this means war! Gilmorg, only to find it overrun by clockwork soldiers hellbent on reducing the city to rubble!

With wyverns circling in the sky above and trolls on the horizon, it quickly becomes apparent to our heroes they have two options: take up arms and lead the Kingdom of Kilcela to victory against the heinous Pitaxian Hordes, or like, give up and die, I guess.

And knowing the Kingmakers- their friends captured by villains, their home under attack, and their legacy at risk of being lost to history like countless other River Kingdoms before them- that means there's only one real thing to do.

Onwards and forwards, Kingmakers- it's time to start a true War of the River Kings! Machinemen get melted. Grapples get stung.

Spells get charged. Good god, y'all, what is it good for? Ho Ho Ho! During the bleak winter nights of the end of the year , the Fey of the Kingdom of Kilcela bring all the good little girls and boys gifts as a sign of good-will and peace.

But lo and behold, this year, the unthinkable has happened- and a gift has gone missing! In this very special episode of Dice Will Roll, our heroes, a trio of fey adventurers, must find out what happened to the missing present, solve a murder, and save the Generic Winter Holiday!

But watch out Grab your sugar canes- it's time to make the Yuletides gay! Investigations get started. Cookies get eaten.

Gifts get given. All this and more in this very special episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the festive questions like When the going gets tough, the party puts their hands on their hips and expresses total disbelief at how garbage the situation is, before sighing in resignation and doing it anyway.

After the Kingmaker's top athlete is poisoned by a rival nation in an effort to sabotage their victory streak in the Rushlight Tournament, Improvisations have to be made, and the only other jouster even close to her level is the King himself!

Faced with mounting challenges, both athletic and personal, the Kingmakers must weave their way through the intertwining politics of the festival and prove themselves the champions of the games!

But are these games really what they seem at face value? Or is there more intrigue beneath the surface? And if there is It's time to carry on the torch and wrap up the tournament, fellas- if you can make it out in one piece!

Corsets get waved. Chess Games get played. On your marks! The Rushlight Tournament swings into action, and so too must our heroes!

Taking the place of athletes to win the mighty Rod of Lordly Might for Kilcela, the Kingmakers find themselves pitted against the best and brightest of the River Kingdoms' Sportsmen.

From ripped barbarian archers to petite lumberjack sorcerers, this sports showcase is more than a little out of the ordinary.

But while all is fair in love and war, it might not be in sports! Can our heroes overcome the tricks and cheats of some of the less scrupulous kingdoms?

Or will the best men fail to win? Notes get taken. Bullseyes get shot. Logs get split. Sports Festival Arc! Every good adventure should have one!

But when you're invited there by a pompous King with a potential vendetta against your own and your list of events gets "lost in the mail" The Kingmakers find themselves caught in the flow of the Rushlight Festival without the right athletes, and must improvise to make sure the show can go on!

Will our heroes rise to the occasion and become stars of the event? Or will they make fools of themselves and their nation in front of the most powerful elites of the River Kingdoms?

Grab a flask and get ready to play- the tournament of a lifetime is about to begin! Names get misspelled.

Wine gets sipped. Are we going to need a vacation from this vacation? It's been a long year for the Kingmakers since the defeat of the reborn Barbarian King, and Kilcela has grown to embrace the status of a true River Kingdom.

So much so, that the neighbours are starting to take note of them! An invitation from their rival nation of Pitax brings them to the Rushlight Festival, a fair of fantasies that showcases the best and brightest of the River Kingdoms!

Or is there more going on than meets the eye between our King and his old home? Boulders get yote. Monsters get charmed. Revelations get made.

What does it mean to be a hero? To some, it might be to do good for your people, no matter what. To others, it's an insatiable hunt for glory.

It could very well come to be that two heroes might find themselves in direct opposition with one another Funnily enough, you'll never guess what this episode is about!

The spirit of Armag the Barbarian King lies within his wicked supersword, Ovinrbaane, the enemy of enemies, and the Twiceborn Warlord now finds himself facing the Heroes of Kilcela who wish to stop him from enacting his grim conquest of The Stolen Lands and beyond!

Can the Kingmakers stop this cruel king from reigniting the flames of a long gone kingdom of blood? Or are they doomed to fall to the Enemy of Enemies and be the first to make up his throne of bone?

Walls get mimed. Accidents are had. Tragedy strikes. All this and more in this, the season finale of Kingmaker Book 4: Blood for Blood, where we ask the Hard Questions like You might think you're tough.

You might have slain monsters, saved villages and kicked butt. But you didn't do it in the Tomb of Trials, and the Tomb Master didn't see it, so it didn't count!

The Kingmakers travel through the Tomb of Armag in pursuit of the Reincarnated Barbarian King, but they are not alone. A haunting voice echoes through the misty passages of the crypt, guiding them through terrible trials to prove themselves worthy of their place in this mausoleum of misery.

Can our heroes overcome the tests laid out for them that will surely push them to their absolute limit?

Or will they fall to their doom here, as the Twiceborn Warlord retrieves his terrible weapon, Ovinrbaane, the Enemy of Enemies? Balls get rolled.

Teeth get chattered. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. And certainly, when you're facing off against tens of hundreds of brutal barbarians guarding the entrance to the final resting place of the Stolen Lands most dangerous superweapon, it's very useful to have friends!

It won't be an easy fight, but push past the battlefield, the cultists and the tomb, and perhaps the Kingmakers can put a stop to the nefarious warlord's plans!

Scarves get wrapped. Barriers get raised. Trials get taken. In the life of an adventurer, there's never really a chance to catch your breath, is there?

After being tossed off a cliff by a vicious Barbarian Warlord, the Kingmakers decide to regroup and return to St.

Gilmorg and plan out their next move. But any hopes of relaxation and recuperation is dashed when rumours swirl of the sinister Rainwater Razor's latest murder, forcing our heroes into investigation.

Who is this deadly serial slayer and what are they doing on the streets of Kilcela? One way or another, today's a fine day to become killer killers!

Tarts get eaten. Flags get raised. Many a tale begins with the sight of an enchanting maiden bathing beneath a waterfall under the moonlight.

Now, take that, and imagine that instead of a beautiful young lady it's actually a huge beefcake of a guy, and also, there's goblin-wolf-dog-thing creeping up on you, and you don't know what's going on but you guess you're here for the ride??

If you're picturing it so far, then you've got a pretty good idea of what kind of episode this one's gonna be, folks. No time to think- it's a battle back to back with a real hunk with an air of mystery against some of the night's scariest monsters if you're level 4, at least!

Swords get shown. Armour gets pierced. Heroes get yeeted. The battle cry of so many brave heroes who're ready to die for a cause. Or, like in our case, the panicked yells of a group of adventurers who aren't quite as sneaky as they thought they were coming up with a Plan B on the spot.

The Kingmakers are taking out the crooked leaders of Fort Drelev and freeing its people- but to do so, they need to take out the man behind it all, the Mad Baron Drelev!

Bent on taking out the Kingmakers and conquering the Duchy of Kilcela for himself, this menacing madman is all that stands between his people and liberation.

Now, friends and adventurers, say it with me- off with his head! Druids get carried. Dogs get snoozed. Hunks get peeped on.

We've all dealt with pests in the basement before. Your greasy son who just won't stop playing video games and get a job. But Hags?!

That's a different story altogether! The Kingmakers face off against a coven of Annis Hags and their wicked leader, Betty Rustfingers, in the cellar beneath the Drelev Keep.

But who else resides in this castle of creeps? Cruel, calculating summoners with a disdain for life in favour of his studies?

Or perhaps an old friend who just won't take a hint and get lost? One way or another, nothing's gonna stop these heroes- vive la revolution, it's time to put some nobles on ice!

Hands get chopped. Windows get jumped. Lightning gets arced. A leader's duty is to serve their people, but in their greed, so many kings believe that their people are there to serve them instead.

When that happens, it's time to revolt! The time to topple the Mad Baron of Fort Drelev is drawing near, and the Kingmakers must infiltrate his keep to depose him and the crooked nobility he lavishes with instead of saving his barony from the vicious barbarians that overrun it.

But, uh There's like, guards and stuff. We didn't exactly come with a plan, so I dunno, maybe we should climb the walls or something?

No, that's dumb. I'm out of ideas. I'll let our heroes figure their way past monstrous guardians, cunning traps and long-hidden secrets themselves!

Vive la revolution! Slimes get sliced. Bars get bent. Cackles get cackled. Being an adventurer is easy! When you have a problem, just swing your sword at it until it dies.

For example, say you're in a swampy cave, and a horrible tortoise creature rises from the depths and tries eat you. What do you do?

Slash it with your sword! Simple stuff! But what about more complex problems, like sneaking into a barbarian infested town where everyone is looking to kill you?

Swords won't fix that. Bad idea? Darn, whatever. Our heroes will probably think of a smarter idea. It's time for the Kingmakers to find out exactly what's going on with Fort Drelev, and try topple the crooked crown that lies atop it!

Breath Weapons get breathed. Disguises get put on. Dreams get dreamt. The best way to make friends with someone is to do something that they'll like.

Usually that means offering to listen to someone's interests, maybe buy them a nice cake or something- but in the case of the Cruel, Swamp-Dwelling Goggard worshipers of a demon goddess, it's not so easy!

Our heroes find themselves fighting off the cruel naga which had bewitched the priest-king of the Boggards in order to gain their favour and bring peace to the marshes- but honestly, can we just settle for knitting them a nice cardigan or something?

I'm tired of having to killing monsters for other people! Poems get recited. Rings get given. Baby Carriages get investigated.

A mission of intrigue requires everything to go right. It takes skills, guts, and stealth to get in and out without being spotted.

Or, alternatively, you could be infiltrating the caves of some grossly incompetent Boggards who have no real idea what they're doing. The Kingmakers wish for an audience with the Demon-worshipping Priest King Sopoko, and they don't want a fight- but unfortunately for them, the Boggards of the swamp village of M'Bottu certainly do, and their surprisingly vicious frog guide Garuum is aching for revenge.

What's up with these guys and revenge, anyway?! Vengeance this, vindication that- can't the Boggards just sit down and talk with one another?

It's a marshy dungeon crawl adventure for our heroes as they navigate the tunnels of M'Bottu and try end the Boggard attacks on the merchants of Kilcela!

Frogs get pelted. Tamers get munched. Deals get made. Culture Shock! Whenever you visit a new place, you're bound to find a few customs you're unused to.

But what's with everyone here in the swamp trying to drown us to please their assorted gods? Our heroes venture deeper into the murky Hooktongue Sloughs to investigate a barony conquered by barbarians and a clan of frogfolk that have been attacking travelers on the roads to their kingdom.

But first, they must overcome some of the hazards of the marshes- such as a trio of hideous bog mummy clerics of the goddess of undeath!

Onwards and forwards, heroes, and guide this motley expedition of lizardmen, gnomish mapmakers, corvid treasurehunters and furious frogmen deeper into the wilds!

Gas pockets get popped. Balls get punched. Villages get sneaked through. You know how the traditional saying goes- when someone sends an invasion force to conquer a small town on the border of our kingdom, we need to find out who's behind it, why they did it and how to stop them from doing it again.

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Dice Roll - Screenshots

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Dice Roll Video

ROLL The DICE BLOCK To WIN Or LOSE! (Mystery)

Dice Roll Video

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